Thursday, November 16, 2006


I hate hiccups. There are not sufficient words in any language I know to describe their level of caused annoyance and frustration. It would be one thing if it were only annoyance and frustration. And even the embarrassment one feels, knowing your co-workers are aware of your hiccups (as they are not just loud, but also visibly shaking you as you try to make soup).

But do they have to be painful?

Do they really?

Do they have to rend your asophagus and throat to shreds every 20 seconds or less?

Do they have to sometimes make you feel like you're going to vomit up a lung at the most incovenient moment?

I swear, any so-called "intelligent designer" who would either allow this flaw to exist (or not fix it immediately) is either stupid, cruel or lazy. Or on drugs. And I don't condone drug-use on general principle.

Does anyone else have this problem with painful hiccups, or am I really some kind of freak? I mean, I don't even have wisdom teeth. At all. I think I've evolved beyond them, or something.

The annoyance, frustration and embarrassment I can handle. Or at least I remember handling them better when I was younger (and didn't have a job, with people who'd notice). But the pain is nearly enough to make me snap and scream and hiss and spit and attempt to do intense physical harm to everyone and/or everything in the general vicinity.

Not that I would. But it's gotten to the point where I should probably see my doctor. And I HATE having to do that unless it's absolutely necessary.

So, if I didn't before (and I can't say if I remember), I now officially hate hiccups.

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